Welcome, Epic Woman (a.k.a. Stepmom) 

You are not alone. 30+ million stepmoms struggle. 30% win. You can learn their secrets. I did it, so can you.

I am iishana Artra, a PhD, empowerment coach, stepmom, and contributing writer for StepMom Magazine. I am glad you are here!

Coaches differ in their focus. I don’t teach how to shape yourself into a superhero stepmom. I coach Personal Power using the 5 keys to sane stepmomming, so you can experience relief. My clients discover how to use those 5 game changers to deal with the epic challenges of stepfamily dynamics and build up a thriving individual life (which tends to make us better stepmoms).

I grew up in a 7-kid stepfamily and have stepparented six kids in two relationships over 18 years. It has been a wild ride (from death threats to thank you cards). When I discovered (and did!) what works for stepmoms’ wellbeing, it got a lot simpler to create real happiness.

It all started with losing my mind

As a stepmom, the first time, there was too much confusion and emotional exhaustion. Eventually I only felt despair. It got so bad, I was forgetting my name, walking into walls, falling down stairs, and losing my car. The kind of lost where you either walk the entire lot, or wait for it to empty. The 4-story airport lot - in the winter, was the last straw.

A neurologist said I was suffering from a severe stress response called pseudodementia, due to lack of control over my living environment. He also declared me “self-esteem deficient”. I was disappearing. His letter to my partner led nowhere.

To start again, everything had to change - in me, and it had to happen quick.

From survive to thrive

Through research, stepfamily foundations certification training, and a PhD in psychology, I discovered the solution, and it changed everything. By applying 5 keys to sane stepparenting, which also make us stronger outside of stepfamily, I began to know who I was again (and where my car was!). 

What started as a quest for the kind of control that would give me unwavering inner peace and purpose while stepparenting has turned into a system that has helped my clients (stepmoms, combat veterans, neurodiverse career makers, and others) step into who they really are and confidently show up in their lives like never before, in all 8 areas of life, braving the darkness and increasing the Light.

Now, I am happy to report that the 2nd stepmomming gig is not just OK, but is actually quite fulfilling. And I am not only physically healthier, but am also financially stronger! I applied the same stepmomming skills I teach my clients.

It’s not all about them

I believe stepmomming well is about being well. By accessing your inner wise woman to take control of yourself and your life and focusing on expert tips for handling stepfamily dynamics, you can really own your own well-being, you can be the best possible you, partner, and stepparent. And, as a bonus, you will be more resilient for handling tensions with biomoms and others; for “rolling with crazy”.

Stepmomming is a marathon, not a sprint. Actually, it’s an XSport. Right up there with swimming with sharks. Epic. 

When you have a self-empowerment mindset (including emotional reset skills), it takes the burden off of you to make everything “right” at home. Making things right in your own life becomes the main focus. From fixating on fixing, to focusing on life force! You do you, girl, you do you! 

And in return, your stepfamily life doesn’t have to take over your life. Then, you are in control. Then, you have the right energy to help others, negotiate, cope, recover…This is how to play the long game. 

Thanks to my self-empowerment, I feel energized, clear headed, and more financially secure. I am grateful for all the ways this makes me a stronger woman and a better stepmom!

Your commitment to creating a better life gives you the power to use these tools and see results. 

Ready?